Saturday, July 18, 2015

My "Dragon Tattoo" Parody Just Got Two Horrible Reviews

From the Department of Putting Your Money Where Your Mouth Is...

In my job, we have to get surveys from customers, and I've learned there are three kinds of people. One, people who had a great experience, which motivates them to leave a survey as a reward. Two, people who had a bad experience, which motivates them to leave a survey as punishment. Three, people who had a mediocre experience, so they don't feel like leaving a survey at all. I feel the same applies to book reviews.

I don't have that many reviews on my books, which has bothered me for a long time. It's not that I want better reviews. It's that, to me, "no review" means "bad review." After all, if I read a great book, I want to tell other people about it. If I read a bad book, I want to tell other people to stay away from it. But there are plenty of books I've read that I thought were mediocre, and I never feel motivated to leave a review. If no one who buys my books posts a review, they probably didn't feel that strongly about it. Which is bad.

Not long after my article on book reviews (Book Reviews Are For Readers, Not For Writers), I got two new reviews for my parody of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Here they are:

George Palmer gave it two stars and wrote: "An attempt at comedic presentation, eh."

I.H. Boyd-Bell gave it one star and simply wrote: "Unfunny rubbish. Avoid!"

Soooo...yeah! Buy your copy today!

What will I do about it? Absolutely nothing. I'm not going to comment on the review. I'm not going to ask anyone to post good reviews to balance it out. I'm not going to go on a campaign to attack the people who reviewed it. If two out of three people hated the book, then I'll accept it might not be that good. Point taken.

If anything, I wish the reviews were longer. I have so many questions. Did the reviewers ever read the book it was making fun of? Because if not, it wouldn't be as funny. Did the reviewers have specific things they hated or just hated it from beginning to end? Did they read the whole book or give up in disgust? I'm so curious.

But I like The Girl Who Played With the Dragon Tattoo's Nest. I haven't had that much fun writing a story in years. I've been thinking about writing parodies of the next two books in the series as well. And the readers on Wattpad like it (which, since they got it for free, is kinda like saying your Mom likes your books).

You can judge for yourself, anyway. If you can't spring for the 99-cents, you can still read the shorter version on Wattpad for free.

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