Saturday, April 12, 2014

Missing Comments

Just a little blog business.

Good news: after numerous complaints about the Google+ commenting system, I've decided to switch to the universally popular Disqus system. It took weeks of tinkering, but I finally got it working.

Bad news: apparently, the reason Disqus wasn't working is the G+ comments overrode it. The only way to fix it was to remove G+, along with all the comments associated with it. So all the comments on the blog have been deleted. I didn't delete them on purpose, but there was no other way.

You should be able to comment now. Let me know if you have any other problems.

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100-Word Sci-Fi: "Twist of Fate"

Every week, I write a hundred-word story inspired by a random word. This week's word is "knitting." 
Source: Wikipedia
Twist of Fate 
by Nigel G. Mitchell

Timothy Landon approached the old ladies knitting by the window. "You know why I'm here."

One with a pair of scissors nodded. "You know we are the Fates."

Timothy surveyed the three women. "You've got the yarn, so you're Clotho. You're doing the knitting, so you're Lachesis. And you've got scissors, you're Atropos."

"We prefer Cloris, Laura, and Agatha these days."

"What are you doing here in a retirement home?"

"We've retired. All us gods did. But we're still spinning the thread of life. And yours has just run out."

She cut the yarn and watched Timothy fall down, dead.

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Thursday, April 10, 2014

10 Funniest George R. R. Martin Jokes

With the new season of Game of Thrones airing on HBO, it's also a new round of gags on the Internet about the show and the books. One thing George R. R. Martin's fans have discovered is that he kills off his characters with disturbing regularity. Here's 10 of the funniest jokes about him online.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Short Story "Man Overboard" is Now Free on Smashwords

So far, I've been exclusively on Amazon's Kindle store, and haven't done too many free promotions. But I've been hearing a lot about authors leaving Amazon, and offering their books for free permanently. So I've decided to dip my toe in the waters with my short story, Man Overboard. Here's the summary:

The two words no quanta fisherman wants to hear: "man overboard." A crew member aboard an interdimensional fishing boat is lost in space, and the captain will do anything to rescue him. But it's not just any crew member - it's the captain's son. 

You can download it for free at Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/425900

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Friday, April 4, 2014

100-Word Sci-Fi: "Leviathan"

Every week, I write a hundred-word story inspired by a random word. Today's word is "octopus."

Leviathan
By Nigel G. Mitchell

James Woolbright ran through the ship, pulling Ariana Reed by the hand. "The serum mutated the octopus. It grew bigger."

Ariana gasped, "How much bigger?"

An airlock exploded, propelled by a tentacle as big as a firehose. An octopus the size of a car slithered into the corridor.

One tentacle wrapped around Ariana's ankle, and lifted her screaming into the air.

James swung his fire ax to hack off the octopus' tentacle. It squealed as Ariana fell into James' arms. He rushed her through the nearest airlock into a storage room.

He kicked it shut as Ariana gasped, "Now what?"

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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

4 Brilliant But Insecure Writers Published After Death #IWSG

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Friday, March 28, 2014

Excerpts From the TOONS Apex Catalog

The third book in my TOONS series, Friendly Forest, is now available for download. To celebrate, I present these pages from the never-before-seen Apex Corporation catalog.

In my series, TOONS, the Apex Corporation has furnished active Looneyville citizens with the the latest gadgets and accessories to wreak havoc or enhance their lives. Here's are some sample listings from the 2014 Apex catalog...

Item #8463 - Apex Feather Suit

How many times has this happened to you: you set up a bomb to blow up your worst enemy when suddenly it goes off by "accident." Now you've been reduced to nothing but a smoldering cinder, which wouldn't be so bad, except you've burned off all your feathers! And we know how long those take to grow back.

Well, now you don't have to wait for them to grow back! Just order an Apex Feather Suit. It's available in a wide variety of colors and styles to match your specific plumage. Just pull it on, zip it up, and you're ready for a night on the town. And for the active bird, they're also available in six-packs.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Cover Upgrade: "Flying Saucers," "Operation: Masquerade"

One thing I've learned in my self-publishing journey is I'm not a good cover artist. For budget reasons, I've been working with some cover artists on Fiverr, but haven't been 100% happy with the results...you get what you pay for. Well, I was finally able to connect with some really great cover artists at Goon Write and Author Marketing Club to improve the covers of two of my books. I think they're a big improvement. Check 'em out!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

If Female Comic Characters Had Pulp Novels [Art]

I never get tired of turning modern pop culture into old-style pulp novel covers. Here's a selection from artist Tony Fleecs, who transformed classic female comic book characters into damsels from the forties potboilers. Check it out:

Monday, March 24, 2014

100-Word Sci-Fi: "Pig Latin"

Every week, I write a hundred-word story based on a random word. Today's word is "pork."
Pig Latin
By Nigel G. Mitchell

The aliens knew nothing about Earth, except for a commercial for O'Malley's Premium Bacon. Watching the cartoon pig serving up bacon to a happy family caused them to misjudge our world, badly.

They took on the form of pigs and set up a factory. They held a lottery, and the winners jumped into the machines to be ground up into bacon, pork chops, and sausage. The rest shipped their brethren to stores all over the world. The pigs made commercials where they munched on pork products while inviting us to dine on their delicious flesh.

Our reaction confused the pigs.

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