Friday, June 15, 2018

Worst Books Ever: "Moon People" by Dale M. Courtney

Whenever people call books like Twilight the worst book ever, I always shake my head. Not because Twilight is good, but because it's by no means the worst book ever written. It's time we talked about the real stinkers. That's why I'm going to be highlighting the true worst books ever published by a traditional publisher in the science fiction and fantasy genre. Today, Moon People by Dale M. Courtney.

Long before Amazon leveled the playing field for self-published authors, anyone who wanted to publish their own books had to go to companies called vanity presses. Vanity presses became notorious for their sleaziness, charging huge amounts of money to desperate people to print books regardless of quality that would end up gathering dust on the author's shelves. In 2008, the online self-publishing industry was just getting off the ground with Xlibris, a company that published books on demand. That's where Moon People came from.

Here's the official description by the author:
This Book is based on the turning point for Earth into a new era of space travel and the beginning of the Age of Aquarius. The story focuses on one Man by the Name of David Braymer and his adventures from High school teacher to 1st Science Officer on board the Lunar Base 1 Mobile Base Station and his encounters with Alien Life forms through out our universe and the space Battle of all battles David experiences. I hope you enjoy the many adventures of David Braymer and his conquest in space and our journey into the Age of Aquarius.
Just from that description, you've got an idea what you're in for.

The story is about a high school teacher named David Braymet who get caught in the middle of a war between the good alien Powleens and the bad alien Arcons.

The book achieved fame in 2009 through its horrifically bad prose.

In case we still haven't convinced you, here's the first page of the novel.

This story begins on a Beautiful sunny day in Daytona Beach Florida With a man by the name of David Braymer. A 45-year-old Single man that works at the local High school as a science teacher and astrology in the 12-grade level. Now he’s been here about 5 years and has become kind of partial to a young lady by the name of Cheral Baskel a local restaurant owner in Daytona Beach. At the moment Cheral’s preparing her restaurant for another Shuttle launch at the cape and everyone always gathers at her place because you can see the launch real good at her place. It’s also on the water and its real close to the cape and she really decks the place out.
Soon after, the book became the target of Internet trolls posting fake reviews of praise and mocking its writing (although there is debate as to whether some of the five-star reviews written in the same style are satirical or the author himself trying to post fake reviews).

The book inspired two sequels: Moon People 2 and Moon People 3. From all reports, his writing hasn't improved. At one point, Courtney claimed Moon People was going to be adapted to a movie in 2016, directed by J. J. Abrams and starring Harrison Ford. Clearly didn't happen.

I haven't been able to find a single thing on the author other than his bio:
D. M. Courtney is Married and a father of three, a writer and also does work for National Security on the part of foreign policies and war strategies and world economic equality. My hobbies are Scuba diving and fishing. I was raised in Miami Florida at the time of the Muriel flotilla of refugees from Cuba in the early seventies. Also did a tour in the military in the Army, went to Korea for a year. 
Not sure what working for "National Security on the part of foreign policies and war strategies and world economic equality" means. Airport security? Accountant? Hopefully, the job doesn't involve a lot of writing.

Moon People has been called the worst book ever, the literary equivalent of The Room. Sadly, it's not. The worst book ever written was penned by myself at the age of 11. Thankfully, the original manuscript and all copies have been lost forever.

You only know half the story of Jekyll and Hyde. Prepare to see literature's greatest monsters in a whole new light with Hyde!

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