Thursday, August 27, 2026

Sliders: Have a Nice Day (6 of 6)

by Nigel G. Mitchell


Arturo began to breathe faster as the men came towards him with their syringes. One of them yanked down the shoulder of Arturo's coat to expose his arm. Arturo began to struggle, but the cuffs and ropes held him fast. He could only grit his teeth and wait for the inevitable.

"You shall not prevail!" Kenny was screaming. "The young shall topple your empire and rescue us from destruction!"

For the first time, Thomas' smile flickered in confusion. "What is that old man babbling about?"
The air-conditioning vent above him popped open with a loud bang. A slim young man dropped out of it to land next to one of the armed men. He punched the man, sending him reeling. In the brief moment when the thug was off-guard, the young man grabbed the automatic weapon from his hands.

Thomas lunged back as the young man aimed the gun at him. "What is the meaning of this?"

"David?" Arturo gasped.

David Mallory grinned at him, then gestured at Thomas and his men. Even without speaking, the three NIH employees got the message. They backed away from Arturo and Kenny. David inched over to where Arturo was tied up, keeping the muzzle of the gun aimed at Thomas.

As David reached down with a free hand to untie the professor, Arturo gasped, "David, my boy. How the devil did you do this? I thought you were like the others."

David finished untying Arturo and quickly signed with his free hand. Arturo shook his head, unable to understand. David rolled his eyes, then sidled over to the desk. He grabbed a pen and pad, scribbled on the paper, then thrust the page at Arturo.

It read, "I Hate Lemonade."

Arturo looked up at him. "So you never drank it, after all?"

David shook his head.

"But I saw you..."

David made exaggerated coughing and spitting movements.

"Ah, I see," Arturo said. "You spat it out."

David nodded, vigorously.

Arturo sighed. "Of course. I should have noticed that you were the only one in that room who was not hopelessly delirious."

David scribbled on the page again, then held up a note saying, "I Knew Something Weird Was Going On, So I Played Along Until I Got A Chance To Go After You."

"Well, it seems I owe you a debt of thanks, young man. Now, we must free Kenny and retrieve the others. We cannot take the chance of missing our slide."

Arturo hurried over to Kenny and began undoing the knots around him. Crazy Kenny laughed hysterically.

"I warned you," he yelled. "I warned you that the youth would be your downfall!"

"You mean you knew David was following us the whole time?"

"Sure," Kenny said. "Heck, he was following you back at the park. Then when I heard him hitching a ride by hanging onto the back of our van...well, I knew it was only a matter of time."

Arturo finished his work and stepped back. "Well, I wish you had shared that piece of information with me when it could have done me some good, you blistering idiot."

Kenny stood up, working his wrists in the handcuffs. "I did. I told you I had a friend from above. He was above us in the vent."

"Well, why didn't you just say it in English?" Arturo roared. "Is it physically impossible for you to speak like a human being instead of a prophet of doom..."

David grabbed his sleeve and yanked on it hard. When he had Arturo's attention, David jerked his head towards the door.

"Oh, yes," Arturo said. "Escape. We shall finish our conversation at a more opportune time. Let's go, gentlemen. Thomas, it was wonderful to meet you. I hope you and your Saguaro Project die an excruciating death."

He ran to the door, followed by Kenny and David, who backed out of the room keeping his weapon trained on the NIH.

Kenny apparently was familiar with the NIH, because he was able to lead them through the maze of hallways to the parking lot. He was also apparently skilled at larceny, because he was able to break into and hot-wire an NIH van.

They drove at high speed to the home of the Mallorys. Kenny screeched to a halt outside. Arturo and David charged up the front walk, pushing through the  squeaky gate.

Arturo looked down at David, who still cradled the Uzi in his hands. "Do you have any idea how to handle that weapon?"

David shrugged and shook his head.

"Then you had best let me use it," Arturo said. "Not only is it dangerous for you to be wielding it, but I believe I will have slightly more credibility."

Arturo took the Uzi, checked to make sure it was loaded, and hurried up the front steps. At the door, David knocked as hard as he could.

Mrs. Mallory opened the door with her usual smile, which remained constant even when she was looking down the barrel of Arturo's gun.

"Oh, there you are, David," Mrs. Mallory said. "We missed you during our Scrabble game. And professor, nice to see you again. Were the police able to straighten things out with you?"

"Quite," Arturo said, raising his Uzi. "I'm afraid I don't have time to exchange pleasantries with you, Mrs. Mallory. I must retrieve my friends and escape this madhouse in time for the slide."

"Oh. All right." Mrs. Mallory stepped aside to allow Arturo and David to enter the house.

The others were all chatting in the living room. None of them looked surprised or alarmed to see Arturo enter with a gun.

"Hey, professor," Wade said. "How's it going? Michael was just telling us..."

"How much time do we have before the slide?" Arturo asked.

Quinn blinked, then fished around in his jacket until he produced the timer. After flipping it open, he said, "Uh, about four hours."

"Then we haven't missed it," Arturo said. "Thank heavens. Mister Mallory Senior, it has been wonderful to meet you, but I'm afraid our visit is over."

"Leaving so soon, son?" Michael Mallory asked.

David nodded, firmly, then began to gesture on his face and body. Wade saw it and translated. "He says that he always wanted to meet pleasant, loving versions of his parents, but he wants it to be real love, not artificially-induced. It was nice to meet you both, but he'll keep on looking."

Mrs. Mallory walked in and sat down next to her husband, who put his arm around her.

"Well," she sighed, "it was wonderful to have you here for a while. Take care."

"Yeah," Quinn said. "Hang in there, you guys."

Arturo turned the Uzi on where the other Sliders were sitting. "I'm afraid we are not the only ones leaving, Mister Mallory. You three are coming with us."

"But we don't want to slide," Wade said. "We wanna stay here."

"You have been drugged, my friends," Arturo said. "You are not thinking clearly. This city's water has been tainted with powerful antidepressants. Now, under ordinary circumstances, I would leave the decision to remain behind in a world up to you, but I fear that your decision-making abilities have been severely weakened. So I must ask that you come with me to the slide or I shall shoot you in the legs and drag you into the wormhole myself."

Rembrandt looked at the others, then shrugged, still cheerful. "Okay, professor. Whatever you say. You've always had the brains in this outfit, so you know what's best for us."

Arturo grinned down at David. "I say, I believe Mister Brown is more tolerable in this condition. Perhaps I should carry a supply of this water along with us."

Quinn helped Wade put on her jacket, then trooped after her and Rembrandt to the front door. Arturo let them and David walk ahead of him, then nodded to the Mallorys, and ran out of the house.

The others were climbing into the NIH van. When Arturo was inside, Kenny hit the gas. The van roared off into the night.

Arturo took the timer from Quinn to check the readout. "We still have time. Kenny, we must hurry back to Golden Gate Park to retrieve your files, then to the nearest TV station."

"You're thinking what I'm thinking?" Kenny called back over his shoulder. "Spreading the word to the masses?"

"Exactly. We must inform the mass media of this heinous violation of human rights. However, I shall have to accompany you. I'm afraid you do not make a very credible speaker."

"No matter," Kenny said. "My voice only disturbs the evil and the oppressors."

"And the intelligentsia," Arturo murmured.

The van screeched up to the curb alongside Golden Gate Park. Kenny dashed off into the trees and returned carrying a heavy folder of notes and clippings. Arturo had taken his place at the wheel and drove them down to the nearest TV station.

Arturo and Crazy Kenny bolted through the front door and didn't stop yelling until they got someone's attention.

* * *

Arturo and David sat side-by-side in their room at the Dominion Hotel, watching the evening news.

The anchorman was speaking in stern tones. "And this just in, an informant has given this station evidence of an incredible government cover-up to contaminate San Francisco's drinking water with the antidepressant drug, trioximetasone. The Justice Department has ordered a complete investigation of the allegations against the NIH, as well as the questioning of all top San Francisco NIH officials. Citizens are advised to drink only bottled or purified water, not tap water, until the city's water supply can be redirected to the Santa Anita Reservoir."

The anchorman paused and touched the receiver in his ear. "And...I've just been told that the NIH has refused to comply with the court's request for interrogation, resulting in an order for their arrests. We now go live to the National Institute of Health to our own Warren Hull."

The camera cut to the street outside the Institute. A tall handsome man jogged after a platoon of police officers charging through the front gate. The man yelled into a microphone as his name was superimposed under him.

"Only moments ago, the Justice Department ordered the arrest of all top NIH officials. San Francisco police refused to perform the arrests, most likely because of the effects of the trioximetasone, and so the National Guard has been called in."

The camera wavered to show men and women being led out of the Institute in handcuffs. One of them, smiling at the camera, was Thomas.

"So far, the arrests have gone smoothly," Hull said, "but there are those in the city who say they enjoy being medicated and will fight to keep the antidepressants in our drinking water. We'll keep you informed of further developments. Back to you, Jim."

The camera cut back to the anchorman. "Thanks, Warren. This entire incredible story was uncovered by one man,  once thought to be an insane drifter living in Golden Gate Park. Known as Crazy Kenny..."

Arturo turned off the TV. "I believe I've seen enough of that man to last me a lifetime."

David gestured in sign language, then looked at Wade.

She smiled, then said, "He wants to know if every slide is going to be like this."

"Oh, no," Arturo said. "Usually it's much worse. At least we did not face rampaging dinosaurs or Kromagg warriors."

David frowned and gestured again, ending in a series of letters spelled out with his hands.

"He's asking, who are the Kromaggs?" Wade said.

Arturo clapped him on the back. "I say, you do have an awful lot of catching up to do, don't you, my boy. Well, we still have over an hour until the slide. Allow me to enlighten you."

Quinn looked down at the ropes that tied him, Rembrandt, and Wade to chairs. "Hey, professor, is this really necessary?"

Arturo looked back at them. "I'm afraid so, my friends. According to the police, the effects of the trioximetasone will not wear off until after we slide, and we cannot take the chance that you three will try to escape before then."

"We wouldn't do that," Rembrandt said. "We love you guys, man."

"And I you, Mister Brown," Arturo said. "But forewarned is forearmed. Now just relax and feel free to jump in any time."

Arturo steepled his fingers as he faced David again. "Now, let us begin with the Kromaggs. Our first encounter with them began with our journey to what appeared at first glance to be an abandoned amusement park. However, we soon realized something was seriously wrong..."

THE END

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